new school term...

kind of dreading for tomorrow to come...
one month internship at the Esplanade was awesome...
but long over now...
haiz... kind of miss the backstage^^ haha...


time goes damn FAST sia...
tomorrow... marks the day of a new school term...
new semester...
also indicating that half of our poly lives are over...
WOAH~


nothing to look forward to for tomorrow...
starting off the new term and week with Idea Launchpad...
dreading it...
the others all have IS elective while i DON'T! damn...
only a boring IS lecture to bear with... *groans*
same classmates... (p.s. : can't we change?! ><)
oh wells...
only lesson to look forward to...
i guess... is my Japanese Lessons?!
hah!


besides lessons... meetings and stuffs are cropping up here and there...
1) meetings for CDAC event on tuesday, wednesday and saturday...
2) CDAC performance @ Yishun on sunday...
3) music box operator duties for Concert Band performance on 24th & 25th...
4) meetings sure gonna come up for the upcoming Hi! Club Opening Ceremony... (plus rehearsals too)


hmmm... that's all for now?!
lolz... actually it's quite a lot... HAH...
はい！　がんばろ！




じゃ〜
雨

long time over...

it's been so long since i'm up on msn talking to someone...
just tried to talk someone out...
cause of her problems that she have recently with her BF...
wells... 
not that i'm in the right position to say anything...
cause i haven been in one before...
but...
i tried my best...
to talk her out...
to help her find the solution to the problem...
and i hope she'll be ok...


tears flooded out when i saw her blogpost...
never seen that side of her before...
so tired... 
and perhaps... a bit...
helpless...?
somehow... i feel that it'll do her good if she just ends everything... 
like now...
but... if she's happy with continuing...
well... i hope she'll be happy...


sometimes... 
when you know that you want to help with something...
but you can't do a thing...
that feeling seriously sucks...
starts to feel the same way as the person in needed of help...
but... you can't let them sense it too...
if not, they might feel guilty...
feel that they have caused you some burden...
sucks...
to keep everything away...
to bury it deep inside your heart...
to not let anyone else know your troubles...
cause you just know that you can't tell anyone else...


who can i turn to... ?
at this point of time... ?
guess...
the answer is : NO ONE...
oh wells... seems like i've gotten used to it...
doesn't matters to me now...
just hide away...
like a hermit crab...?
hah




looked through my list of people which i've added on msn...
was a bit surprised...
you...
blocked...
me... ?
i didn't even know when you blocked me from your contacts...
guess... it's really the end...
thanks for the answer...
i get it...
time to press the 'DELETE' button in my mind...
to erase everything and start over again...
with a fresh new mind...


i don't know why... but...
i'm like getting further and further away from my friends...
maybe more specifically...
my classmates...
i have no idea why...
but that's the feeling i get...
i guess... it's ok for me to hide away again...
and live by my own... ?
just treat me as though i'm transparent...
i'll thank you for that...


things for which i need to think for myself...
i need time...
and for myself to be alone...


希望...
一切...
事情...
煩惱...
能夠...
圓滿結束...


雨

擁有＝失去的開始？

擁有是失去的開始...      嗎？
不曾擁有, 就不怕失去...       嗎？


不同的人，有不同的見解...


有人說：
如果不曾擁有，那當然不用怕失去啊...
只有是你的，你才會有失去的可能...
如果不是你的，那沒了，也不關你的事啊...




... 沒了， 也［好像］不關你的事啊...


...［好像］...
...［可能］...
...［也許］...
...［應該］...


好像... 人生好像都會有許多我們不知正確答案的問題...
比如：擁有＝失去的開始？
            不曾擁有＝不怕失去？


以上，換你回答...
是真的嗎？ 你怎麼看待？


又有些人會說：
即使到頭來會失去... 也要放手一搏...
努力爭取自己想擁有的...
至少... 擁有過... 
失去了... 也曾經有過那麼美好的回憶在腦海里...
如果，因為害怕失去而放棄擁有...
那麼... 可悲...
因為，當你看到別人擁有了你曾經想有的...
你難道不會失落...?
不會自責...？
不會感覺到生命力少了甚麼...？
不會後悔... 嗎?
到頭來，你還是失去了...


與其因為害怕而不努力爭取...
不如相信自己的力量...
努力了，如果還得不到，那或許你真的該放棄...
但如果可以... 
那就放膽的去擁有吧...
或許 能夠走到天長地久...


擁有一段美麗的回憶...
總好過，甚麼... 都沒有...


你們說是嗎？


雨

等待。。。

here goes another... ranting post?! haha... 
don't know whether to be counted as that or not... 
haha... oh well...
going to be typing in chinese...
so... if my sis is reading this... sorry...
but it's better for me to say in chinese... xp


你們有沒有嘗試過等待...
無論是人，事，物...


我覺得，我每一分每一秒都在等...
等甚麼，有時候我自己也不知道...
有時候真的會覺得... 
無奈...
沒意義...


等公車...
等朋友...
等家人...
等成績...
等...
... ... ...
對的人...


人往往在小的時候會覺得...
只要我快點長大，我就能得到我要的東西...
但... 真的是這樣嗎？


有的人則覺得...
有時候，要等待才能得到你想要的東西...
但... 是嗎？


有些事情我並不清楚...
但... 我知道...
有些時候...
等待...
不一定能解決事情...
不一定就能得到你所希望擁有的...
反而...
可能會讓它“飄”走...
就因為... 你沒好好追求你想要的...
因為... 沒好好把握機會... 讓機會流失...
而這... 也許會讓你後悔...
但... 也很難改過來了...


“等一下”...  
“等等我”...  
“可以等我嗎”...
這幾個字或許你會覺得沒甚麼...
但... 如果... 你聽了很多次...
而且... 是從一個很特別的人口中說出來的呢...？
你... 的回答... 又會是甚麼...？
是... “我會等你”... 嗎？


真的覺得... 這樣子一直等下去也不是辦法...
沒目標...
沒目的...
沒... 期限...
無限的這樣等下去...
你... 接受得了嗎...？
不會... 覺得... 累... 嗎... ？


我...
有點...
累...
了...


我...
該...
繼續...
等下去...
嗎... ?


雨

CONCERT!!!

went and played(really played) through my PSP interview for music box today...

the whole 4 stages i was playing...

was intending to withdraw from it as what ying ying had done...

but decided to just go for it...

no harm... haha... but don't like the theory part...

don't know the answers for it...

who cares... all over...

didn't really read up for it...

ohya... received an email saying that i got accepted for internship at the Esplanade...

sep to early oct... one month... no pay... just experience...

classmates still considering... 

me will most probably be going... but not sure... cause no pay...

then i've been spending too much money these days...

學壞了... 亂買CD... hahaha

shall save money!!! 

in the end... in the same department as the irritating guy...

what bad luck...

是想把我氣死嗎?! that guy really got attitude problem lorh...

why until know then i start finding that problem of his irritating...

no wait... it's been a long time... since i knew that...

but... haiz... cause of her... =.=|||

at least during secondary school...

he won't come bother me so much... 

but now same school as him again... and no Diana here... HAIZ!!!

and once again... i shall say... I DO NOT LIKE HIM FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!! 

on a harsher tone, rather die than like him...

hair... *dies*

attitude... *dies again*

clothes... *dies yet again*

whatever... really don't like guys with long hair... look SUPER WEIRD!!!

those artiste that had long hair before, don't like...

cut short... all become more handsome!...

this goes to show that girls can copy guys... but guys can't copy girls! =.=|||

out of soooo many shaun or sean that i know... =.=|||

only one shaun is handsome, nice and everything...^^

short hair... miss the times where.... AHEM! haha...

AND AND...

kelly say she'll accompany me go Arron's mini concert!!! 

on the 16th!!! WEE!!! YAY!!! but not sure if i'll get the tickets a not... haha

see my luck bah... never get... still never mind... at least i've tried...

今天你生日。。。

祝你。。。

生。。。 

日。。。

快。。。

樂。。。

還。。。 

記得我。。。

嗎。。。？

雨

meet again... =.=

it's always like this...

when u want to forget someone...

something... 

or another person... 

will remind you of that someone again...

I hate that feeling...

YOU! why are you in my memories again?

i hate it...

when i went overseas for that ONE WHOLE FREAKING MONTH...

i thought that maybe i can finally forget about you...

and then suddenly saw this person who looks A LOT like you...

that person totally reminds me of you...

i hate it...

i swear i hate it...

at that point of time, when i realized, i stunned...

memories, like waterfall, just keep pouring into my mind...

appearing and disappearing...

appearing and disappearing...

what is this...?!

i had totally forgot about you for the first 4 weeks...

and then that person had to come and bother me...

had to remind me of you during the last week...

i hate you...

avoid... that's wat you did...

you avoided me...

hate hate hate...

since it's like this... why can't you just leave me alone?!

time... 

needed...

to...

forget...

you...

maybe it's true of what others say...

it takes a lifetime to forget someone...

haha...

but i'll try...

to forget you...

to not let you step into my life again...

to let traces of your memories in me... disappear...

goodbye...

雨

WTH!!!

ever tried dealing with a lot of problems at one go?!


sometimes, i really don't understand why things have to happen all at the same time...
sometimes, you want it to come, but it doesn't...
other times, when you don't want it, it comes rolling into your way...
what exactly is this?!


IF...
i had never gone on that thing...
IF...
i had never heard about it...
IF...
i was that insensitive to things...
IF...
i can don't know anything...
IF...
i don't know them...
IF...
i did not cared...
IF... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
damn... what's the use of listing all the IFs down...
when all has already happened?! what am i thinking?!


if anyone have a cure for me... i'll be glad to take it...
if anyone could share these problems with me... i'll be glad to share...
if anyone can save me from these things... i'll be glad to be saved...
if i can just turn a blind eye to it and not do anything... i'll be glad to do so...
if i can just do that... 
but i can't...


why do you have to just fill me in on the details...
i did not want to know in the first place...
i did not even ask you to tell me...
why are you just so selfish to just dump everything to me...
like i'm your rubbish bin... dumping your trash into me... 
without asking whether i want to know a not...


don't know whether to really believe you or not... 
because you are also biased...
you are involved as well...
i can't help but think that you are saying this to help yourself...
who shall i believe...


lost...
confused... 
frustrated...
angered...
injured...


you tell me to forward it to her... 
but... can i really tell her...?!
NO! i can't...
i can't risk it...
i just hope that they will be more careful of themselves...


and YOU!...
are you really that blur that you just follow whatever they tell you to do?!
just answer without any restrain to any questions?!
are you really the one that i know?!
you are getting to be more and more like a stranger now to me...
who are you?!
do i know you?!
can you please quit playing and return back to your normal self?!
it's scary at the thought...
of how you can just tell them anything and even join in their discussion...
i'm getting tired of trying to see the time when i can tell you things safely...
without the things getting said out... by YOU...
really...
seriously...
feel like dragging you out and ask you everything...
of what is happening...
of what you know about it...
but... i can't as well...


people whom i can trust...
are getting lesser and lesser...
people whom won't harm those that i treasure...
i'm not sure who will that be...
who can i trust now... ?
who won't harm me... ?
who won't harm those that i treasure... ?
i know not...


迷惑...
失望...
受傷...
無法言語...


雨