WTH!!!

ever tried dealing with a lot of problems at one go?!


sometimes, i really don't understand why things have to happen all at the same time...
sometimes, you want it to come, but it doesn't...
other times, when you don't want it, it comes rolling into your way...
what exactly is this?!


IF...
i had never gone on that thing...
IF...
i had never heard about it...
IF...
i was that insensitive to things...
IF...
i can don't know anything...
IF...
i don't know them...
IF...
i did not cared...
IF... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
damn... what's the use of listing all the IFs down...
when all has already happened?! what am i thinking?!


if anyone have a cure for me... i'll be glad to take it...
if anyone could share these problems with me... i'll be glad to share...
if anyone can save me from these things... i'll be glad to be saved...
if i can just turn a blind eye to it and not do anything... i'll be glad to do so...
if i can just do that... 
but i can't...


why do you have to just fill me in on the details...
i did not want to know in the first place...
i did not even ask you to tell me...
why are you just so selfish to just dump everything to me...
like i'm your rubbish bin... dumping your trash into me... 
without asking whether i want to know a not...


don't know whether to really believe you or not... 
because you are also biased...
you are involved as well...
i can't help but think that you are saying this to help yourself...
who shall i believe...


lost...
confused... 
frustrated...
angered...
injured...


you tell me to forward it to her... 
but... can i really tell her...?!
NO! i can't...
i can't risk it...
i just hope that they will be more careful of themselves...


and YOU!...
are you really that blur that you just follow whatever they tell you to do?!
just answer without any restrain to any questions?!
are you really the one that i know?!
you are getting to be more and more like a stranger now to me...
who are you?!
do i know you?!
can you please quit playing and return back to your normal self?!
it's scary at the thought...
of how you can just tell them anything and even join in their discussion...
i'm getting tired of trying to see the time when i can tell you things safely...
without the things getting said out... by YOU...
really...
seriously...
feel like dragging you out and ask you everything...
of what is happening...
of what you know about it...
but... i can't as well...


people whom i can trust...
are getting lesser and lesser...
people whom won't harm those that i treasure...
i'm not sure who will that be...
who can i trust now... ?
who won't harm me... ?
who won't harm those that i treasure... ?
i know not...


迷惑...
失望...
受傷...
無法言語...


雨